The Power of Your YES & Your NO


This year, I've been giving a lot of thought to the advice ('Kool-Aid') I've bought into, even when those who served said advice didn't. This is not a statement of judgement. I've also been giving advice that I haven't been taking. My concern: if we're moving too quickly to live by our own true values,  perhaps we need make time to review priorities.

In this blog post, I'll give you a list of questions to help you get honest with yourself. First, here are some popular 'Kool-Aid' (Lol) flavours.

Examples of Kool-Aid

You're a smart, critical, intuitive thinker. You can rely on your own discretion to make wise decisions but, do you know that? Here are some popular 'Kool-Aid' flavours:

  • If you are authentic, true to yourself in every area of your life, fear will not control you.
  • Always say yes to every open door! Opportunities don't come back!
  • Winners make quick decisions all the time. Losers make slow decisions.
  • "It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most..." Marianne Williamson. Play BIG.
  • It's polite to follow those who follow you on social media, even if you won't read, buy or share.

Some of those above, I adhere to completely, even if I falter in the application occasionally. Others, I'm sure, gave you a sense of discomfort, even irritation, just reading them. So, you see, you do have a perspective. Now, you just need to embrace it as valid.

My 3-minute Spiel

I gave a 3-minute spiel on Saturday evening, on this topic, whittling it down, in essence to The Power of Your YES & Your NO. I was ill and it was well beyond my bedtime. So, you see, I too do this when I'm not aware.

What about my values? Even when you 'make mistakes', be gentle with yourself.

My Schedule. My Time & Energy

Embrace where you are right now. You may have the ideal schedule, but FACT: If you're not following it, it's not working for you. Relax, sit back, breathe. See how you answer these.

  1. Do I feel most energized, most excited in the morning, afternoon or evening? What type of work/activities should I invest my energy in, at that time? (If it varies, honour that.)
  2. Am I an introvert, getting rejuvenated by alone time, or an extrovert, rejuvenated by connecting with others? (You might be both. Whatever you are, own it.)
  3. Do I need detailed structure, lose structure or flexibility in my day? (If you need flexibility, does a schedule that says "8:00am, e-mails. 10am-12pm, follow-up" work? Perhaps having 3 goals for the week suits you better. You decide. These are ideas.)
  4. Am I best with collaborative or solo work? Always, or sometimes? When? Why?
  5. Do I function better doing the same thing at the same time each day, or is it better for you to plan by the day?

I have found that things take the time they take, and the space they take, given your current circumstances. Whatever you answer, be true to it. They say it takes 21-30 days for create a habit. Stick to your decision long enough to give it a fair shot. 

My Goals, My Resources. Who's YES or NO is This?

I don't like watching people trample the free will of those who don't know better. We're all likely in each of those roles at different points in our lives. Stay aware. A few questions for you:

  1. What are my reasons for saying YES or NO? Fears, expectations or my own values?
  2. Do I trust my own judgement, or do I need others' support to find my confidence?
  3. Do I tolerate negative, discouraging influences, that I can avoid? Why?
  4. Do I often buy products/programs because I feel pushed, rushed? Can you afford it?
  5. What do I want to do with my one life? Did I decide on this, or did someone else?

The answers you want to give, not those you're 'supposed to' give, are just fine. We often spoil the people in our lives, to avoid offending, almost to the point of distorting ourselves, our needs. Especially our loved ones and leaders. So I have to ask, "What about you?"

What Have You Decided?

I hope you're thinking about how to regain the reigns of your own life, schedule and goals, even as you learn to trust your own voice and operate from a place of peace in decision-making. In fact, there might be times when you don't want to rush into a decision. Right?

Let's Connect

Our values, our YES and our NO, drive far more than our social media strategy. They govern our client profile, networks and time. I write more like this on 

For tips on social media strategy, entrepreneur encouragement, events and business features, find me at Successiory e-News and on social media (click icons at the bottom of this page).

Want a social media strategy that honours You? Your YES and Your NO? Learn moreAsk here!

Crystal-Marie S

(2016-Aug-18) On paper, my career began in 2001, spans Successiory (2009), my MBA from the Schulich School of Business (2010), two countries and several industries, including business strategy, social media consulting, environmental and engineering consulting, higher education and more (see LinkedIn). 

In 2015, I was nominated for Canadian Association of Marketing Professionals (CAMP) Awards,Entrepreneur of the Year and became an bestseller on August 9th 2015. I spoke at 12 events in 2015 alone, including several GroYourBiz Advisory Boards, Bank of Montreal (paid), Iler Campbell’s Tools Conference and Toronto Public Libraries’ Small Business (sometimes paid) series. I think I love speaking!

On a personal note, I'm an MBA, entrepreneur, millennial, dancer, author and so much more yet, like you, I don't fit the stereotypes. After years of workaholism and the health and relationship losses that go with that lifestyle, I've stopped 'paying lip service' to terms like authenticity, self care and sustainability. My health scare pushed me into living them. Here's hoping I can inspire you to live and work better without learning the hard way. Welcome. Still curious? More here...

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